Today...

Today I sit.....

I sit in a desk that is larger than most and yet I still manage to cover it with paperwork...

My head is split with an unbearable head ache from the backs of these green eyes all the way to the light brown hair that longs to be dyed...

My body shakes from chills and my lower back needs a major rub down...

My large tonsils fill the back of my throat and it hurts to speak...

My screen is filled with orders awaiting to be put in...

But still I sit...

With no empathy from anyone.....I sit...

Pure exhaustion glazes my olive color eyes and the longing to crawl into my bed calls me...

My better half feels the way most do.... "welcome to finals"... or whatever hell this is..

I now have come to know regret...unfortunately my mother in law passed away..

Before her passing there was much that I needed to say..

Did she know I genuinely loved her....that I would always take care of her son..

Or did she see my eager eyes filled with love too heal her pain....

I miss her already...not that I called her often..

I miss our rambling chats that we used to fill the awkward silence..

I will miss the fake phone calls I placed with inquiring medical questions about Mati...I already know the answer I just wanted her to fill included...

Most of all I will miss your laugh and how you always put me at ease with my vanity...

Something we both shared..

I will miss you always...and I will speak your name often...your memory lives in our minds and Mati will know how much you loved her..

My heart is aching at the pain your son must feel, but I will remain strong...and cry on my own...

We love you and we miss you immensely Happy Mothers Day Susan...you gave me the best thing that ever happened to me, and for that I owe you everything....